Fear. It’s a word that unsettles even the bravest of us. Everyone fears something at some point (or many points) in our lives. As much as we don’t like to admit what we fear, it’s not until we stop and face the issue at hand that real change starts to begin.
“Why is this four-letter word so powerful?”
I have always held myself back by my fears, throughout my life. I’m not ‘afraid’ to admit this (excuse the pun)
Fear of the answer ‘no’
Fear of change
Fear of failure (a big one for me)
Fear of what people will think
Fear of speaking up (just in case I offend someone)
Fear of facing the truth
Fear of envy from others
Fear of being myself
And the list goes on…
I have so many fears that I could honestly compose a book just on them! I’m sure many of you can probably relate to some of my fears.
What I recognised is, each day is an opportunity to show up, speak up and break old habits. You first must understand what you fear and face it, then watch your life start to transform.
“So, what happens when you decide to face your fears?”
The most amazing things start to happen, once you finally decide to face your fear you transmute and grow, your life as you know it will start to change too. Most of our fears are made up, it’s our ego’s way of protecting us from hurt or disappointment.
“You never know until you try”
Keep running, and your fear will follow you, turn and face your fear and watch it disappear. In life we are given hurdles, these are opportunities to grow and learn, prove to yourself that you’re not afraid. This is your time to shine!
Now, I’m no psychologist, nor am I pretending to be, my personal experiences and years of soul-searching has lead me to write, share and hopefully inspire others to be the best version of themselves. Plus, I’d hate you to live in fear or miss out on a fabulous opportunity.
“Stop people pleasing, holding yourself back or being scared.”
With these four letters, I hope to help you to; Understand what you fear, find out where it’s coming from and give you some action steps to take and make positive changes to your life.
F is for Faith.
Faith is to have complete trust in something or someone. I’m asking you to have complete trust in YOU. Believe that you make the best choices for yourself and try to stop second-guessing every decision you make. How could you fail? Let me tell you, you can’t. That choice, decision, action was made by you for a reason. Love and trust yourself fully.
E is for Encouragement.
Have you noticed that ‘encouragement’ has ‘courage’ in it? Encourage yourself Every. Single. Day! You deserve a big pat on the back for everything, just getting up some mornings, merits encouragement. By doing this, you’re affirming that you are worthy, which you are. You’ll notice that you will start to put yourself first. I don’t mean in the ‘self-entitled’ sense. I mean in the not being a ‘doormat’ sense. You will do, act and think only what serves you best. So, if your fear is saying no to others (the people-pleasers biggest fear) Then en-COURAGE yourself daily (or hourly)
A is for Anger.
Do you hold onto anger or hurt, could this be the reason you’re scared of something? Holding onto anger blocks us from reaching our biggest goals. If we think about children, they are fearless. But life has a way of teaching us lessons even as children. Think back to the first time you felt fear, maybe you were bullied because you liked to experiment with clothes (that was me) Maybe you spoke up in class and everyone laughed (also me) We hold onto these memories of emotion which eventually turn into fear. They never leave us until we acknowledge and heal them. What are you angry or hurt by?
R is for Resilience.
Resilience is our secret weapon and shield. Whenever you face your fear, your shield gets stronger. All these challenges are there to make us more resilient to obstacles, to change, to pressures. Without difficulties, we would have no experiences, and I wouldn’t be writing this article… You want to become like a rubber band that will never snap, just effortlessly stretch and recoil with the constant ebb and flow of life and the experiences it brings.
Here are some action steps to take away to help you face your fears.
1. Write a list of all your fears
2. Think about when they first developed, really take yourself back there
3. Understand how they are affecting you today
4. Make little deliberate changes to face each fear, this might take years, but each time you do this you prove to yourself that you CAN. And you build your resilience shield each time.